Monthly Archives: August 2011

Breaking news: Apple’s software sucks too!

Look Apple’s software sucks and is just as annoying as every other software manufacturer.

Screw you Apple! I only run this software so I can sync music with your phone I pay you to use. Yes I said your phone because after the last 800 page EULA I’m not sure if I actually own anything anymore. I started to fall asleep around page 600 or so of the agreement but I thought I read something about agreeing to being an indentured servant or something?

Here install this crap!

Here install this crap!

I like the iPhone, can’t deny it but, I can’t stand iTunes. It’s fat, bloated and slow! (Although, I can relate, actually.) No matter how hard a person tries it’s inevitable, you will end up with Quicktime installed. I despise Quicktime. I’ve despised it since Windows 95!  I HATE it, it’s terrible! If you need a media player check out VLC or Media Player Classic nice, small, fast, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY they don’t try to take over your computer.

To the right you can see proof of the virus that is iTunes. Look you dickheads I only want iTunes, I don’t want Quicktime, I don’t want MobileMe and I certainly don’t want that pile of steaming Elephant dung you call a browser. Sweet idea calling it Safari, that will certainly throw everyone off! People will never realize it’s actually an Elephant turd! Sure Safari is fine on a phone, but for the love of God DO NOT make me run it on my computer! The last thing I want is the web browser equivalent of a $10 Hamilton Beach toaster! Even on my Mac I don’t use it EVER!

Ughh NO!

Ughh NO!

Seriously if I really wanted to drink more Apple Kool-Aid I would install this garbage myself I don’t need you to try and push it on me like a dope dealer, so shove off! Stop checking these boxes by default! The last thing I want is to wake up in the morning after some binge drinking and find I installed Safari! The only thing I can think of that could possibly be worse would be waking up drunk, naked and next to Bette Midler!

Reboot now? Seriously?

Reboot now? Seriously?

 

You’re not serious are you? A reboot? Really? A REBOOT? A REBOOT for an update to a glorified music player? Oh hell! I’ll be back I have to go reboot!

I don’t want Google as my home page so SHOVE OFF!

I don’t know about you but I always set my home page to blank. You know why? Because I open a browser to view a web page. Rarely is it ever the same web page. So the last thing I want is to waste another second of my life waiting for some GD page to load. I’m WAY too GD impatient for that! I’ve spent entirely to many minutes of my life waiting for a computer to do something. SCREW YOU DO IT NOW! I’m not waiting for the weather, the latest gossip, some stock quotes, last night’s box office numbers I don’t care! I also DO NOT give a FUCK what Prairie Dogs are really talking about!!!

WTF who Cares?

WTF who Cares?

Unless of course this is a Prairie Dog with a HUGE wallet willing to pay large amounts of money to build him a website.

Oh yea back to the topic SCREW YOU GOOGLE I DON’T WANT YOU AS MY HOME PAGE!!

Make me your home page.

Make me your home page.

I go to google.com and get this? REALLY? A nice little helper page that makes it SO nice and easy for computards to set Google as their home page. Do you really need help setting your home? I’m sure you probably do and actually, it’s probably not your fault at all. It’s the developers who decide to move the damn menus with every version. You know maybe hide the menu names, change everything to a cute little picture for the inevitable future when 90% of the world can no longer read. Just imagine if you sat down in a new car and the damn ignition switch was now in the glove box and the switch where the ignition used to be now beeps the horn and pops the trunk every time you touch it. You would be on the phone to the dealership loosing your friggin mind!!

Seriously make me your home page?

Seriously make me your home page?

So now here we are…. The first page you gave me wasn’t enough? Really? You have to nag and torture me even more with this? Just die already.

Now I will digress a little, having a search engine be the first thing that pops up in a browser window is useful no doubt. It’s SO useful in fact EVERY browser has the option to display a search box in the browser chrome. The box is SO awesome and so well thought out they made it with a drop down which presents you with a list of available search engines that YOU can customize and add your favorites too. It’s BRILLIANT! I wish more people would learn how to use it so maybe big giant web company X would stop begging for my browser.

BTW Google, I don’t want Chrome either Opera is a much better browser.