Author Archives: sysop

Adobe Premier 2019

Creative Cock - Suck IT!
Creative Cock – Suck IT!

Since Adobe has bought up and and discontinued pretty much every other software company that made video or graphic programs on the PC, I thought I would have a few drinks, try and relax, and attempt to use some of this fucking garbage software they make. So first up Premier Pro 2019 latest version as of 9/20/2019. In typical Adobe fashion the workflow so far is a fucking unintuitive nightmare. It’s like it was written by a committee that was too busy shooting meth and licking each others assholes then actually creating a usable piece of software. This shit is so convoluted and absolutely fucked they had to cut it out into 2 additional products. Oh use prelude to import and mark footage, oh and for basic editing you should use Rush. Well it’s a good thing my company ponies up and sucks the Adobe Creative Cock every month so I have access to the additional bullshit you need just to do some basic shit. I mean at least they admit it, here Premier is so fucked use this other application until you’re ready to start sucking the big one!

So here I sit with a latest gen I7, 32gb of ram, and 2TB of SSD. Fresh new install of Windows 10 64bit. Yea, yea it’s not a Xeon based machine, but I’m poor and I’m not exactly trying to create the next Star Wars film. I’m just trying to edit some fucking GoPro footage. Anyhow this fucking shit software won’t import a fucking 5mb MP4. It fucking crashes every fucking time I try.

I’ve seen this at least 10 times now in the first 30 minutes of using Premier. FUCK YOU!

Everything else plays the file fine. VLC, Windows movie player, the GoPro Qic software, Media Player Classic, they all work, but not this huge pile of shit Adobe Premier Pro. It should be called Premier Total Bullshit! I first tried importing 8 clips I had about 600mb of video, that crashed. Then tried them one at a time, oh crashes on the 3rd video. Hmm 3rd file seems fine no issues. Nope won’t import. Hmm 4,5,6 import fine, 7 and 8, fucked. It makes no sense it was all shot on the same camera on the same day, on the same memory card. So I went out of my way and did an MD5 comparison of the original files and my copies, yep all the same, fuck.

I don’t know what else to say, in case I haven’t mentioned it, the software is a fucking pile of shit! First impression right off the bat, the software is total fucking garbage, fuck Adobe, Fuck Premier. That’s it I’m calling it a fucking night maybe I’ll try again tomorrow fuck! How is grandma supposed to see her darling grandson when this fucking software won’t do basic shit without crashing. Fuck you Adobe, you’re fucking up grandmas day, dicks!

Images in email signature

Should you put images in your email signature? This is a much discussed topic and people have very differing opinions on this for several different reasons. There is also the discussion of how exactly is the best way you should go about doing this, should you embed the image into the email or should you use hosted images? There are different advantages and disadvantages to each method. Here we will discuss the method I prefer in detail so you will understand the best method to use in order to achieve this.

First lets discuss the best method and why it’s the best method. The best method is don’t fucking do it! Stop putting your stupid motherfucking logos in your goddamned fucking email you pretentious fuck! No body gives a flying fuck! I don’t give a shit about what bullshit fucking certification you paid a bunch of money for and sat your fat fucking donut eating ass in class room so you could memorize enough bullshit to pass some worthless fucking exam so that some stupid asshole HR director thinks they should hire you. I also do not give a fuck about the fact you are the Chief Clown Cocksucker. I don’t need to see it in every fucking email transaction that takes place. There is nothing worse then seeing some fucking clown faced shit brained ass hat with an image in their signature indicating all of their worthless bullshit Microsoft, Cisco, Google Certified fuck bucket bullshit they paid for that you have to look at every motherfucking time you reply to their dumb ass fucking emails in regards to basic networking bullshit like how the fuck does DNS work? Really you can’t fucking handle DNS?? Go kill yourself!!!

Microsoft Excel CSV Warning

Fuck you assholes and your CSV warning!! Why in the fuck is there not a fucking check box to disable this stupid mother fucking prompt? I use CSV files every fucking day all fucking day long, and I have to click this stupid fucking message every fucking time I save the mother fucking file! FUCK YOU!! I’m switching to Libre Office! DICKS!

CSV Warning

FUCK THIS MOTHER FUCKING THING!

 

It’s going to be a while

Hang in there fella, it’s going to be a while…….

Copying files the long way

Sure hope the power doesn’t go out

I hate you Adobe, I really do.

Yea I know what all you Adobe Creative Cloud dicks are saying, why is he still running CS4? Doesn’t he know it’s all about the Creative Cloud? Well you guys just keep on paying and sucking that Adobe cock on a monthly basis and I’ll just keep on running this old shit that still does 100% of what I need and spend that money on steak and beer. So anyhow, I am actually trying to upgrade to CS5, which is also paid for, won’t cut into my steak budget, and does not require me to get on my knees and suck the Adobe cock on a monthly basis. Hence why I’m attempting to run the uninstaller. I guess I should just reinstall Windows, that will probably be easier. Besides I’m sure uninstalling and then upgrading Acrobate will certainly fuck up Internet Explorer and will result with IE crashing EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME you click on a PDF file. And after weeks of frustration with it and hours spent searching phrases like, why the fuck is Adobe Acrobate such a piece of shit? or why is Adobe Acrobate STILL the worst fucking piece of software ever written?

Fuck you Acrobat

What the fuck am I supposed to be seeing below?

I’m sure at this point some of you are about to say, what the hell, this asshole can’t even spell Acrobat. No, no, I know how it’s spelled, I just prefer Acrobate. It forewarns you that trying to get this shitty software to work right, is just about as productive as jerking off all fucking day!

 

Cisco Unified Video Advantage #2

Ok so after clearing out 42 gigabytes of free space installation attempt number 2 comes to a halt.

I’m loving me some Cisco Unified Video Advantage yes I am!

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

 

Please call Cisco and explain the difference between MB and GB, PLEASE!

So Cisco Unified Video Advantage. It sounds like it might be cool, but I can’t get passed the installer….

42MB > 32GB

42MB > 32GB Gawdidt?

Guess I better go free up 11 gigabytes of disk space so I can install this piece of garbage. It’s just a hunch but I bet this is a real wonderful piece of software perfection. I bet I’ll only have to open 3 or 4 TAC cases in order to get it to partially work only to find out in the end it’s not supported on our hardware. But if we sit around and hope long enough Cisco might release a firmware upgrade that will at least make it partially functional…. Just great…..

 

Who is the dick at Microsoft that decided properties needed a change?

Seriously who is the evil bastard behind this? I want their direct phone number so I can call and scream at this person every time I click on properties and not printer properties. I mean why do you dicks feel it necessary to move things around in a menu? It’s not like you changed any core functionality, it doesn’t work any differently, it doesn’t do anything that it didn’t do before, you didn’t do away with the menu. No you wouldn’t do that you just decided to change the order, you prick bastards!

Windows 95 printer properties.
This is where it started over 17 years ago.

 

 

Since Windows 95 the properties item in the menu has been in the same place why would you change it?

 

 

Windows 98 Printer Settings!

Look Windows 98 it’s in the same place!

 

 

 

 

Well I was going to post a picture of the Windows ME printer properties but it seems even the Internet has chosen to try and forget about that turd but trust me it was in the SAME PLACE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Windows XP Printer Properties!

Look XP It’s STILL in the same place!!

Now that brings us to the best OS Microsoft has ever created Windows XP. I’m not going to argue that Windows 7 is light years above Windows XP because it is but XP is still in VERY wide use almost 11 years after it’s release. It took Microsoft 2 complete OS versions before they could write an OS that has begun to replace XP. I still see XP workstations everyday. So still to this day XP in my book is/was MS’s most successful OS.

 

 

 

And Finally here is the abomination.

Windows 7 and Vista Printer Properties!
Properties isn’t properties anymore Dorothy!

 

Yep there it is. Look at that the new and improved menu. Do you have any idea how many times I have clicked on the last item in that menu? Only to be presented with a properties window that is completely worthless when it comes to configuring a printer.

Never ONCE have I ever found any useful information about a printer when clicking properties in Windows 7 or Vista. Why is this even there? The window that it opens does nothing! NOTHING!!! It’s completely worthless!

 

NOTHING these does NOTHING!

Seriously, what the fuck are these for?

 

Attempt to update to iOS5 Day 1

I really have nothing to say about this, the picture really sums it all up.

Breaking news: Apple’s software sucks too!

Look Apple’s software sucks and is just as annoying as every other software manufacturer.

Screw you Apple! I only run this software so I can sync music with your phone I pay you to use. Yes I said your phone because after the last 800 page EULA I’m not sure if I actually own anything anymore. I started to fall asleep around page 600 or so of the agreement but I thought I read something about agreeing to being an indentured servant or something?

Here install this crap!

Here install this crap!

I like the iPhone, can’t deny it but, I can’t stand iTunes. It’s fat, bloated and slow! (Although, I can relate, actually.) No matter how hard a person tries it’s inevitable, you will end up with Quicktime installed. I despise Quicktime. I’ve despised it since Windows 95!  I HATE it, it’s terrible! If you need a media player check out VLC or Media Player Classic nice, small, fast, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY they don’t try to take over your computer.

To the right you can see proof of the virus that is iTunes. Look you dickheads I only want iTunes, I don’t want Quicktime, I don’t want MobileMe and I certainly don’t want that pile of steaming Elephant dung you call a browser. Sweet idea calling it Safari, that will certainly throw everyone off! People will never realize it’s actually an Elephant turd! Sure Safari is fine on a phone, but for the love of God DO NOT make me run it on my computer! The last thing I want is the web browser equivalent of a $10 Hamilton Beach toaster! Even on my Mac I don’t use it EVER!

Ughh NO!

Ughh NO!

Seriously if I really wanted to drink more Apple Kool-Aid I would install this garbage myself I don’t need you to try and push it on me like a dope dealer, so shove off! Stop checking these boxes by default! The last thing I want is to wake up in the morning after some binge drinking and find I installed Safari! The only thing I can think of that could possibly be worse would be waking up drunk, naked and next to Bette Midler!

Reboot now? Seriously?

Reboot now? Seriously?

 

You’re not serious are you? A reboot? Really? A REBOOT? A REBOOT for an update to a glorified music player? Oh hell! I’ll be back I have to go reboot!