Category Archives: Adobe

Give me back my domain!

So like 4 years ago this domain expired. Somehow it was not set to auto-renew. Some Chinese company grabbed the expired domain in hopes I’d pay big money for it. Jokes on them, this domain doesn’t make me any money, so the site just sat dormant. In the meantime, I played the long game, set a yearly calendar reminder to check expiration. Well guess what. They finally decided to not renew this year! HAHA SUCKERS!! That said let the bitching begin!

Since the last post almost 5 years ago was bitching about Adobe we might as well start there! I launched Premier a few days ago and I get this splash screen about cool new features. One of them being about new animated titles. Well I know how those work but thought I’d check it out. Oh look, it includes lots of awesome “free” stuff with my subscription! Oh look no “free” stuff. Even if it worked the claim that it is “free” is also complete bullshit, free if you’re sucking the Creative Cock each month!! (Please note: someone else does the sucking for me each month. If I had to do it I’d have already switch to DaVinci resolve. Which I may do anyways because fuck Adobe!)

After some searching the most common suggestion is to uninstall and reinstall. Really? I fucking hate you Adobe, I really do. Just like I need to reboot after updates to Acrobat. I honestly think one of the biggest reasons Adobe went to the subscription model is because they no longer have the ability to release actual stable working versions of their software that could be sold as a product release. So they’ve convinced users their shit software just needs one more update and it’s on it’s way! You know, because you have a subscription to their bullshit!!!! Oh well, off to waste more life trying to be productive with worthless shit software!

Adobe Premier 2019

Creative Cock - Suck IT!
Creative Cock – Suck IT!

Since Adobe has bought up and and discontinued pretty much every other software company that made video or graphic programs on the PC, I thought I would have a few drinks, try and relax, and attempt to use some of this fucking garbage software they make. So first up Premier Pro 2019 latest version as of 9/20/2019. In typical Adobe fashion the workflow so far is a fucking unintuitive nightmare. It’s like it was written by a committee that was too busy shooting meth and licking each others assholes then actually creating a usable piece of software. This shit is so convoluted and absolutely fucked they had to cut it out into 2 additional products. Oh use prelude to import and mark footage, oh and for basic editing you should use Rush. Well it’s a good thing my company ponies up and sucks the Adobe Creative Cock every month so I have access to the additional bullshit you need just to do some basic shit. I mean at least they admit it, here Premier is so fucked use this other application until you’re ready to start sucking the big one!

So here I sit with a latest gen I7, 32gb of ram, and 2TB of SSD. Fresh new install of Windows 10 64bit. Yea, yea it’s not a Xeon based machine, but I’m poor and I’m not exactly trying to create the next Star Wars film. I’m just trying to edit some fucking GoPro footage. Anyhow this fucking shit software won’t import a fucking 5mb MP4. It fucking crashes every fucking time I try.

I’ve seen this at least 10 times now in the first 30 minutes of using Premier. FUCK YOU!

Everything else plays the file fine. VLC, Windows movie player, the GoPro Qic software, Media Player Classic, they all work, but not this huge pile of shit Adobe Premier Pro. It should be called Premier Total Bullshit! I first tried importing 8 clips I had about 600mb of video, that crashed. Then tried them one at a time, oh crashes on the 3rd video. Hmm 3rd file seems fine no issues. Nope won’t import. Hmm 4,5,6 import fine, 7 and 8, fucked. It makes no sense it was all shot on the same camera on the same day, on the same memory card. So I went out of my way and did an MD5 comparison of the original files and my copies, yep all the same, fuck.

I don’t know what else to say, in case I haven’t mentioned it, the software is a fucking pile of shit! First impression right off the bat, the software is total fucking garbage, fuck Adobe, Fuck Premier. That’s it I’m calling it a fucking night maybe I’ll try again tomorrow fuck! How is grandma supposed to see her darling grandson when this fucking software won’t do basic shit without crashing. Fuck you Adobe, you’re fucking up grandmas day, dicks!

I hate you Adobe, I really do.

Yea I know what all you Adobe Creative Cloud dicks are saying, why is he still running CS4? Doesn’t he know it’s all about the Creative Cloud? Well you guys just keep on paying and sucking that Adobe cock on a monthly basis and I’ll just keep on running this old shit that still does 100% of what I need and spend that money on steak and beer. So anyhow, I am actually trying to upgrade to CS5, which is also paid for, won’t cut into my steak budget, and does not require me to get on my knees and suck the Adobe cock on a monthly basis. Hence why I’m attempting to run the uninstaller. I guess I should just reinstall Windows, that will probably be easier. Besides I’m sure uninstalling and then upgrading Acrobate will certainly fuck up Internet Explorer and will result with IE crashing EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME you click on a PDF file. And after weeks of frustration with it and hours spent searching phrases like, why the fuck is Adobe Acrobate such a piece of shit? or why is Adobe Acrobate STILL the worst fucking piece of software ever written?

Fuck you Acrobat

What the fuck am I supposed to be seeing below?

I’m sure at this point some of you are about to say, what the hell, this asshole can’t even spell Acrobat. No, no, I know how it’s spelled, I just prefer Acrobate. It forewarns you that trying to get this shitty software to work right, is just about as productive as jerking off all fucking day!